from Nancy
To Whom It May Concern,
When I was about 12 years old, in the late 60’s, I began to say to myself and others, “I want to go home”. For many years I didn’t know what I wanted, but that’s how I expressed the longing. At that time, my parents brought home the book Yoga, Youth, and Reincarnation. I read the book and started doing the postures that were pictured in the book.
I took my first yoga class at a local YMCA when I was 14 years old. I liked it because I fell asleep in savasana at the end of class. I didn’t do much yoga in my 20’s, but in my 30’s I started taking classes fairly regularly. I liked that I felt calm and quiet after yoga classes.
In 2003 my late husband nearly died of an aortic aneurysm. He received emergency open heart surgery and his aorta was repaired, but our lives had changed. Both of us knew he was not long for this world, and in fact he died 8 years later. At that time I became aware that his death would be a cataclysmic event in my life and that in order to weather the storm I needed a spiritual practice. I chose yoga, thus consciously placing my feet on a path that not only guided me through the drama and trauma of my husband’s illness and death, but also supported me through the deaths of my parents and my husband’s mother which followed. My husband died in 2012, my father in 2013, and my mother and my mother-in-law both died in 2014. Yoga helped me stay grounded and strong as I moved through these changes.
When I first started intentionally following the yoga path, I didn’t understand what I was doing. I only knew that it was the right thing to do. I had trust and faith in the path, and things started to happen. One of my teachers mentioned the Bhagavad-Gita, the part where Krsna tells Arjuna not to worry about fighting because his opponents are “already dead”. I decided I wanted to read the Bhagavad-Gita and not long afterwards, I was in a used book store and the owner gifted me a copy that had been published in 1911 in Chicago. The language spoke to me and I read the book multiple times.
During this time I decided I wanted to read the yoga sutras, and I soon saw a copy with commentary by Swami Vivekananda in the window of a shop connected to AYC. I bought the book and read it multiple times. I didn’t understand it very well, but again, the language spoke to me.
In 2008, after my husband and I moved to Ashland so I could take care of my parents, I started taking weekly yoga classes at the Ashland Yoga Center. I started a daily home practice including asana, chanting, pranayama, and sitting quietly. Then an opportunity arose to take a teacher training course. I didn’t want to teach, but I was told that it would be a good opportunity to deepen my practice and learn more about yoga, so I signed up. In the teacher training class, I met Laura Roll.
In 2012, my husband died, and my friends from the yoga center were very supportive. I was deeply grateful for their kindness and compassion at that time. Shortly after my husband died one of the women I had met in the teacher training invited me to attend a series of Acarya’s talks in Talent. When Acarya walked into the room on the day of the first talk, my heart opened, and the tears rolled down my face. I knew that he was a true Teacher in the ancient tradition and his words touched me deeply. After that, my practice changed.
Soon after that, I met Laura and her friend Lisa walking on a nearby trail. They invited me to attend a discussion group at Lisa’s house where Kristin Laak was helping us understand Yoga theory as taught by Acarya. I joined the group and later the Jivana Yoga Program. Three times since then, in 2016, 2019, and 2023, I travelled to India to see Acarya because strange things happened to me that rocked my world. I didn’t think that any Western doctor or psychologist could help me, and I was so happy to be able to speak to Acarya about these things and get answers and solutions to help me. Acarya’s advice was right on and the prescriptions he offered were simple, easy, and effective.
When covid arrived, the Jivana students were offered classes on Zoom, which still continue. Currently, I attend the Yoga Sutra class, the Sanskrit class, and the weekly JYP lecture and discussion group, as well as a Sanskrit study group. These classes form the backbone of my week. Sometimes I am amazed at how far this journey has taken me. It seems like once I set my feet on the yoga path, the whole universe conspired to assist me. My practice continues to deepen, and despite the deaths in my family and many other things that have been big hits, I am happier than I have ever been in my life. It blows me away that I can say that, but it’s true.
There have been many positive changes in my life as a result of following this path. I have a strong daily practice. My ability to sit for longer periods of time has improved. Some things I voluntarily changed, like I have almost completely stopped drinking alcohol. After nearly 50 years, I stopped smoking marijuana, and I no longer eat chocolate. My diet has changed quite a bit, and although I still occasionally eat meat, it’s seldom. All these changes happened very naturally, without strain and, in some cases, without my intention. I sleep well, and though I do less and socialize less than I used to, I am deeply happy, so happy that I bow in gratitude on a daily basis. I also notice positive changes occurring slowly over time in my family and friends that I think may be related to my practice.
Now, my life is rich and deep with meaning. Each day begins and ends with yoga. The contentment I feel has changed my response to the ups and downs of living. I am calmer, less reactive, more resilient. In the words of Krishnamurti, I don’t mind what happens. (Mostly.) While I do my best to pay attention to what I am presently doing, I wait with mild interest for what the future will bring. I am not afraid.
It seems to me that all my life, I have been moving toward Acarya and its teachings. I was drawn, like by a magnet, to this place, this time, these people, and now, because of Acarya, I have a real practice grounded in true teachings, and I know where “home” is.
I bow in gratitude to Acarya, to the kula, to all sages and teachers in all times, and to Patanjali, incarnation of Kundalini. Thank you for yoga, and for practice. I dedicate the merit of my practice to Isvara, the Great Light.
