And the pandemic hit me…

And the pandemic hit me…

I am Luisa, Portuguese, 65 years old, retired, living in a  tourist village near the capital, known mainly for its long beach and many restaurants and bars along the coastline. I have my mother living with me, whom I care for, with much affection (she is 87 years old). I also have two pets: a dog and a cat. The remaining family members live a little far from here.

This is my testimony of how I am living the times that go by. I was reluctant to write it because I felt I couldn’t get anything good or useful from this pandemic.

The Jivana Yoga teachings have taught me to overcome my anxiety and some of my fears, and to develop acceptance and for that and much more, I feel very grateful. I have also learned the importance and impact of some noble qualities in our life, among them truthfulness. In the name of that trace of character I cherish, I have to say what I feel: I don’t withdraw anything positive from this time.

The lockdown seems to me like “house arrest”, and now I understand why that is a legal penalty for minor crimes. I have much more time available: besides the necessary grocery shopping, the walks on the beach or in the gardens with my dog, I go nowhere. Having much more time available, I don’t study more, I don’t meditate more, I don’t do more physical exercise, I don’t read more, I don’t listen to more music… I feel trapped, stuck, frozen, with no desire to do anything beyond my sacred duties. Every time I plan some extra activity at home, I end up postponing it, feeling that I will have a lot of time to do it later.

I miss seeing a good movie, watching a good play, attending a concert, being with my friends, sharing affections, meals and plans, being able to take my mother for a nice walk… I miss Life in Freedom.

Although I have not been affected by the drop in income, it causes me distress to know that there are so many people living very badly and going hungry.

I am lucky in the sense of materialistic comfort. Still, I don’t live in a bubble or in a cocoon-  I feel sorry for those who are suffering dramatically from the effects of this health and economic crisis. I often remember those who worked hard to provide us with moments of joy and fulfilment,  knowledge and physical and spiritual well-being, and now they are struggling with serious difficulties and concerns.

To this pandemic, I only have one wish: disappear quickly.

Be safe and keep walking on the right track to Realization and Liberation with the support of our beloved teachers.

Thank you for reading my outburst.