Silvia, Portugal
Hello, my name is Silvia, I’m 53 years old and I live in Sintra, Portugal.
I teach in higher education, in the area of Occupational Therapy, in Portugal and in Mozambique, Africa. I also teach for shorter periods in many other countries. So, although I was born and lived my whole life in Sintra, I have been travelling most of the time, especially to Mozambique, which I see as my second home. I have always loved travelling for work and leisure, as I love to connect with people. I find it incredible how, under our appearance and behavior, influenced mainly by culture and our experiences, we are all made of the same: Pure Love.
I live alone and love being at home in silence and tranquillity. I also love and need to enjoy life with different friends and groups to which I am connected. I often see myself as a bridge between very different people and groups and I love to witness how people can connect with other people, with whom they never thought possible due to prejudice and judgment if we can create a space where love and vulnerability can be welcome.
Covid really changed my life in many ways. I have been in Portugal for 14 months, without travelling. I do not remember a period of my life when I have been in Portugal for so long, because since I was 9 years old, I started travelling to France, where my parents lived, and since then I have travelled at least 2 or 3 times a year. My friends used to say that I lived on wheels. It is curious because on the last trip I made to Mozambique, I had already joined Sadvidya, and I remember thinking that I was prepared and wanted to travel less. I would never have imagined what was waiting for me.
The first confinement was a very good experience for me because I wanted to be at home and enjoy my space, my silence and my two cats, Mel and Rumi. I felt a lot of compassion for everyone who suffered, but I was also aware of the need to take care of my system in order to help others to do the same. The Jivana Program was the North Star that guided me in this task, and I felt that it was a very stimulating moment and a space to deepen my practice, and I am very grateful for that. In the first 3 weeks, I suffered a lot because I was avoiding seeing the person I love the most in my life, my aunt, aged 100 (in the photo), to protect her. When I realized that she was suffering a lot from missing my regular visits, I made the decision to visit her every week and continue to hug and cuddling her, as I used to do. I am always afraid for her and I try to protect her as much as I can, but she has already expressed that living without being with the people she loves, is meaningless to her. I could also see that my students and some of my colleagues were totally lost and scared and I wanted to be a sign of hope and serenity. I have been a mindfulness practitioner for 12 years, inspired by Thich Nhat Hanh, and used to do a very brief practice at the beginning of my classes. During confinement, my students asked me if I could guide them in meditation, and I started to meditate with them twice a week and it was wonderful. This was something I would never have imagined doing.
So, by preventing me from travelling, the first block brought me space and time to reconnect more deeply with myself and the Jivana Program gave me the means to do so.
This second confinement was very challenging from the start. Due to the severe back pain, I haven’t been able to do my practice, as I usually do, and it helped me so much during the first confinement. Even sitting in silence to meditate became painful. Also, in my work, as I teach at home using online teaching and I have to sit at the computer for many hours, I have been frustrated and somehow lost. Therefore, these last few months have been a great challenge in all dimensions. At first, I was trying to deal with the situation on the surface, going to the doctor for back pain and trying to feel better every day, but this tough pain made me realize that I had to dive deep into my feelings and life situation, to rediscover calm and silence. Thanks to the retreat we had in December, I remembered that, in addition to the practice of asanas and meditation, I had other tools I could use. So, for some time now, I have deepened the practice of Yoga Sutra chanting and it has helped me to connect with that deep silence within me, where fear does not penetrate, and the light gives hope. I now feel that this pain has given me the opportunity to explore other forms and dimensions of my yoga practice. Maybe I was getting too attached to the practice of asana and how good and fit I was feeling about it. I have been able to try one more door to enter that space inside of me and I am deeply grateful for all the teachers and teachings of the Jivana Program.
The first time I heard Acharya, less than two years ago, I was feeling exhausted from my work, and Acharya’s words were like a light in the dark showing me the way and connecting me to memories I never knew I had. I still feel that way, every time I hear Acharya’s talks.
Deeply grateful, with a melted heart.